And on the seventh day He rested...
May. 18th, 2003 11:35 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
xp_nightcrawlerThis morning I woke up early, and used this computer to look up the closest church. I wasn't sure if it was okay to leave without telling anyone or not, and I know if the Professor really wanted to stop me he could, so I left without telling anyone. I've been borrowing clothes from everyone anyway, since I only came here with the clothes on my back, so I just borrowed some slacks, a turtleneck and gloves.
The church was newer, one of those light and airy ones with the abstract stained glass and stations. I prefer the dark gothic architecture, and had never seen this sort of church until coming to the U.S.
The readings today really made me think about being here, and what it means. I never imagined being away from the circus, pantomiming a demon on a trapeze, and now my life has just been turned upside down. Like Paul. In today's reading the apostles couldn't believe he had gone from the persecutor to speaking out for Christ. After Christ revealed Himself to Paul, Paul didn't struggle, he just started preaching. Maybe I should do the same thing. Now that I'm here, I have to just....try to fit in, start adjusting to a different life.
I left early, after the Gospel. I couldn't bear to watch the consecration, knowing that I couldn't participate in the Eucharist. Sitting in the back of a half-filled morning mass is one thing, but being inches away from a priest who has never seen someone like me before....well, it's not really a risk I could take. Maybe the Professor could talk to a local priest or something, and once they met me, and I could tell them how I know the catechism, and I've had First Communion, they wouldn't mind.
When I got back, everyone seemed very somber, in different ways. Some people were trying to cover it, and some were coping by comforting those who were more open. With Jean's memorial service tonight, it was on pretty much everyone's mind. I didn't know her, but I've been dedicating my nightly rosary to her. Having shown such self-sacrifice....I doubt she needs many of my prayers.
The memorial was very informal, but heartfelt. There is no doubt the staff and students loved her a great deal. I wish I could do something more for them, but unless juggling is a cure all for grieving.....I can only keep them in my thoughts and prayers.
The church was newer, one of those light and airy ones with the abstract stained glass and stations. I prefer the dark gothic architecture, and had never seen this sort of church until coming to the U.S.
The readings today really made me think about being here, and what it means. I never imagined being away from the circus, pantomiming a demon on a trapeze, and now my life has just been turned upside down. Like Paul. In today's reading the apostles couldn't believe he had gone from the persecutor to speaking out for Christ. After Christ revealed Himself to Paul, Paul didn't struggle, he just started preaching. Maybe I should do the same thing. Now that I'm here, I have to just....try to fit in, start adjusting to a different life.
I left early, after the Gospel. I couldn't bear to watch the consecration, knowing that I couldn't participate in the Eucharist. Sitting in the back of a half-filled morning mass is one thing, but being inches away from a priest who has never seen someone like me before....well, it's not really a risk I could take. Maybe the Professor could talk to a local priest or something, and once they met me, and I could tell them how I know the catechism, and I've had First Communion, they wouldn't mind.
When I got back, everyone seemed very somber, in different ways. Some people were trying to cover it, and some were coping by comforting those who were more open. With Jean's memorial service tonight, it was on pretty much everyone's mind. I didn't know her, but I've been dedicating my nightly rosary to her. Having shown such self-sacrifice....I doubt she needs many of my prayers.
The memorial was very informal, but heartfelt. There is no doubt the staff and students loved her a great deal. I wish I could do something more for them, but unless juggling is a cure all for grieving.....I can only keep them in my thoughts and prayers.
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Date: 2003-05-19 02:09 am (UTC)Re:
Date: 2003-05-19 04:54 pm (UTC)